Sitting with the view of a big tree right in front of my eyes, it gives a feeling of a total shut down to whole towns and I can hear little birds chipping even in the middle of the night, I truly feel my presence as I am typing this sentence.
I guess I always doubt my passion in writing, I think that I was never meant to be a professional writer because I hate grammar as much as I hate my mind right now. The thing about both, sometimes it sickens me to death how I need to be sure about every word, what it means, what I meant by saying it.
I remember the first time I wrote, it was a mess, but I was, still am, I just think it was really stupid and an ugly writing, especially when I talk about my feelings, guess I never was an open book, hard to read cause I won’t let anyone drawn into me, more like I was scared.
But today, that feeling came out of nowhere all of a sudden, before I realized, I had my laptop in my hand (try as much as I can to make it function cause its almost broken), I type every thought before I knew it was supposed to be let out in the first place cause my second guessing is killing me. So to be fair, I think I need a reason to write again just so it doesn’t just look like some of my impulsive behavior, but to be honest with you, I don’t have any reason, its nothing poetic, there no philosophical way to describe it, I mean no offense, I love philosophy I could find myself relentlessly scrolling thru words of wise on Meditations book by Marcus Aurelius, I swear I’ve been obsessed with it. But this one I don’t have any explanation, maybe i am just bored.
Anyway, a little rant about philosophy, my favorite one is Stoicism, I love how those Stoa are all wise, even in the middle of a chaotic world, I remember watching the biography about Seneca and how wealthy he was, still he was very mindful about his possessions. Something very rare to seen in this 21st century. Before I turn this into a lecture lets just end it here, I don’t have much to share, and I know if I continue its just gonna be another trash that I’ll soon delete, if ever I have the time and space and energy to write again, I’ll keep up with another one, thanks for reading this though, I don’t even know why are you here, but have a great day 🙂